Private self-assessment
Dating red flags checklist
This checklist is a reflection prompt, not a diagnosis or background check. Use it to name what you are seeing and decide whether to slow down, ask questions, or seek support.
The checklist
Signs worth paying attention to
One item may have an ordinary explanation. Several recurring patterns—or a serious safety concern—are a reason to protect your boundaries and gather more information.
- Their stories or basic details keep changing.
- They repeatedly avoid video calls or meeting safely in person.
- The relationship becomes intensely emotional unusually fast.
- They alternate between intense attention and unexplained distance.
- They ask for money, gifts, financial help, passwords, or sensitive documents.
- They become angry when you ask reasonable questions.
- They pressure you or ignore your boundaries.
- You cannot verify basic claims through ordinary public context.
- People you trust have raised specific concerns.
- Your persistent sense that something is wrong is not going away.
How to read it
Use patterns as a cue to slow down
Do not use a checklist score to label another person. Ask direct questions, watch whether answers remain consistent, protect financial and identity information, and prioritize immediate safety over confrontation.
If identity is the question
Verification is one optional next step
A private photo search may help when the concern is a borrowed-looking picture or inconsistent public identity. It cannot evaluate a person's character, intentions, or safety.
Your next step
Start with one clear photo.
Review potential matches as leads, keep the surrounding context in view, and make your own careful decision.